


You say potato, I say take me on the kitchen table

by Laika_the_husband (Laika_the_wife)



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Isak Valtersen, Cooking, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Kitchen Sex, Love, M/M, No Angst, No Plot/Plotless, Oral Sex, Sex, Smut, Table Sex, Top Even Bech Næsheim, Vanilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 01:20:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16800850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laika_the_wife/pseuds/Laika_the_husband
Summary: Just a fluffy smut. Isak really likes to watch Even cook.Nothing kinky, nothing dark, just two idiots in love. And fucking.I tried to make an advent calendar with fluffy snippets but realised I have no time for such, and that 24 is a real big number. So I turned the first snippet into this smut. I hope you like it!My regular wips will start updating soon. I need to finish my Big Bang fic first, a chapter and a half to go there.





	You say potato, I say take me on the kitchen table

Isak loved watching Even cook. First of all, he looked cute AF in his apron. Second, his hands looked so good when they moved over the cutting boards and the pans and the pots, stirring and chopping and seasoning in determined movements loaded with purpose. Third, Even really liked cooking, and that showed. The slight smile never left his lips, not even when the rest of his face was frowning, trying to figure out how to save the sauce he added too much of something into.

Today was no exception. Even was humming along to the radio. He was stirring chopped vegetables on the frying pan, and the kitchen smelled delicious. Isak was just hanging out in there, sitting by the kitchen table, playing with his phone or ogling at his hot chef husband. Even poured the vegetables into a pot and then added some cooking sherry on the pan. It made a satisfying hiss and an impressive cloud.

“Oh yeah, baby”, Isak muttered under his breath. “Deglaze the shit out of that thing.”

Even chuckled. And shook his head. But Isak could see he was smiling. Even scraped the pan with a silicone spatula, pouring every little drop into the pot with the veggies. Isak made little oohs and ahhs with every stroke.

“Ooooh yesss, that’s it. I love it when you sauté and deglaze like a fucking pro.”

“Issy, what are you doing?”

Isak grinned.

“Nothing? Can’t a fella enjoy the sight of his lil missus’ domestic attributes?”

“This is still not the fifties and I’m still not a missus, Isak.”

“Nor  _ lil. _ Just sayin’.”

“Are you calling me fat?!”

Isak laughed. Like he ever would say something like that to Even.

“I’m calling you fucking hung, babe.”

Even shook his head and rolled his eyes. But Isak knew he was still in a good mood. He saw the sparkle. Even got back to work, he poured some stock in the pot and gave it a couple of stirs, then he started peeling potatoes.

“Mmm. French those bastards real good.”

“You do know that this is not frenching?”

“That’s what he said.”

Even laughed. Isak was grinning. He really loved making Even laugh.

“You’re an idiot.”

“What is it like?” Isak asked. Even looked at him over his shoulder.

“What?”

“Being married to an idiot.”

Even thought about it for a moment. Then he nodded.

“Entertaining.”

“I accept and approve of that answer.”

“Good. Now can I cook in peace?”

“I don’t see anything stopping you”, Isak stated. He could hear Even roll his eyes at him. But Even got back to work. Isak looked at his hands, his wonderful big hands, cupping and cradling those lucky spuds gently but firmly.

Being a bit jealous to a potato was probably weird.

“Is it weird if I’m jealous to a potato?”

Even laughed.

“What?”

“I don’t know how to form that question more clearly.”

“In that case, yes. It is.”

“Thank you, dear.”

“Don’t mention it, weirdo.”

“That apron makes your ass look spectacular, you know.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re most welcome.”

Even got the potatoes peeled and started slicing them. He looked at Isak and grinned.

“Still jealous?”

Isak grimaced and covered his crotch with his hand.

“You’re evil, you know?”

“Mm-hm.” Even kept slicing the poor potatoes. Uniform slices, exactly three millimeters thick. Once Isak had insisted on measuring them, and behold, they had been all the same thickness. Magic fingers, Isak thought with a grin. Oh, there was so many kinds of magic. Isak moved his hand a bit, over his crotch, he rubbed his semi with the ball of his palm.

“When you’re done with those will you take me on this table?”

Even took five cloves of garlic and crunched them with the flat side of his knife.

“If you’d like that.”

“I would love that.”

“You’ve got yourself a date, mister.”

“Can I help?”

Even shrugged.

“If you want to. But you do realize that won’t make the cooking exactly faster, right?”

Isak sighed and slumped in his chair.

“Fine. What am I supposed to do meanwhile, then?”

“You could unload the dishwasher?”

“Nah. I’ll just watch some porn.”

“Not when I’m cooking you’re not. Actually, if you want me to fuck you in the kitchen, I’d prefer it if you were properly clean. Go take a shower, please.”

Isak got up. He walked to Even and pressed his body against his husband’s back. He buried his nose in the back of Even’s neck and took a good, deep breath.

“Mmm. Garlic.”

Even played dirty. He rubbed his ass against Isak’s groin. The semi turned into a full on just like that.

“Stop harassing the staff and go take that shower.”

“Yessir”, Isak hummed. He gave Even’s shoulder a kiss and retreated to the bathroom. He emerged ten minutes later, butt naked. He walked to the kitchen just as Even was placing the potato gratin in the oven.

He was also naked. All he was wearing was the apron. Even closed the oven’s hatch and gave the sauce pot a frisk stir, and added a bit of stock into it. He turned the timer on.

“Forty minutes”, Even said. Isak chuckled.

“What are we going to entertain ourselves with for the remaining half an hour?”

“I’m sure we can think of something”, Even said against Isak’s lips, then he kissed them. Isak returned the kiss with enthusiasm. He could feel Even’s hard dick poke at him through the apron.

Isak ran his hands along Even’s back, down to the strings of the apron. It was a present, Isak thought, a gift, for him. Even was truly that, a gift sent to him by some unknown, benevolent force. Isak grabbed the end of the string and pulled, slowly. He felt the fabric rub against itself as the bow unraveled slowly. They had forty minutes. No hurry.

“Wait”, Even said. He pushed his hand in the apron’s pocket and took the lube out. Isak laughed.

“And here I was thinking you were happy to see me.”

Even grinned. He grabbed Isak’s wrist and guided his hand on Even’s hard dick. Isak felt the outline through the apron, he examined it carefully with his fingers. He had to be sure it was the real thing, right? It was, oh yes it was, every last bit of it was Even’s wonderful dick. Isak’s mouth was watering at the feel of it. Or maybe it was the smell of Even’s famous madeira sauce developing its flavours on the stove. Probably both.

Isak pulled Even’s apron off and dropped it on the floor by their feet. He kissed Even again. Hard, hungry, he was so ready to be touched by Even. By those big, skillful, determined hands. Their every single movement had a purpose and a goal, and Isak was so lucky that for now that goal was his pleasure. Even’s hands roamed along Isak’s body, stroking and brushing, touching and pressing, and those touches made Isak moan and pant.

Even grabbed Isak harder. He lifted Isak up in the air and placed him on the kitchen table, on his back, like serving him up as a dish. Isak squirmed on the lacquered wood, hard and smooth under him. He looked up at Even, lips parted, eyes wide. He nodded at him, beckoning him to come and feed.

The table creaked a bit under them wen Even draped his body over Isak’s. Isak didn’t care, it didn’t matter if the table gave in under them. All that mattered were Even’s lips on the side of his neck, Even’s teeth grazing on the thin, sensitive skin. Isak sighed softly as he felt Even’s hard bulge against his thigh. All he could think about was that dick, his prize, that would soon be inside him where it fucking belonged.

Even took his time. He loved this, driving Isak crazy with heat and passion and lust and want and need, with his hands and his lips and that fucking tongue of his. It was so quick and slick and fucking  _ precise _ in every way, it drove Isak insane when it flicked over his nipple just in the right angle and direction. Isak pushed his fingers in Even’s hair, to guide him, he tried to direct him lower. He heard - and  _ felt  _ \- Even hum happily against his skin.

“I could just eat you right up”, Even mumbled, softly. “You taste so fucking good.”

“Please, start with my dick!”

Even laughed. What a fucking tease. But since Even was making progress, sliding his mouth gradually lower, Isak let him be. For now. Finally Even knelt down on the floor, his head between Isak’s legs, and Isak felt a long, slow lick along the underside of his twitching dick.

“Ohhhh fuck babe, it feels so good.”

Even didn’t answer him. Because his mouth was now full. His lovely, plump lips enveloped Isak’s tip and his quick tongue swirled around it, making Isak moan louder than he expected to. Apparently cooking was a thing for him now. Of, what the hell. Why shouldn’t he enjoy it how his apartment smelled like a home?

Even took him in deeper, breaking Isak’s trail of thought. All that was left was that mouth, and what it did to him, how it sucked and licked him, his aching dick. Isak’s hips were bucking, the table under him creaked again but he did not give a single fuck.

“Staaaahp”, Isak moaned. “I want to come when you’re fucking me.”

Even pulled back. He licked his lips slowly. Fuck, he was beautiful. Isak spread his legs for him without asking, and looked hungrily at Even’s fingers as Even slicked them up with the lube. His magical, wonderful fingers Isak had been drooling over for all afternoon now. He was about to get them inside him and he couldn’t fucking wait.

“OH! Ohhh yes, oh yes, fuck, yes!” Isak’s head bent back as Even pushed his finger inside his ass. He needed it, so bad, it felt so good. Even knew the drill by now, how to move and where to push to make Isak’s body open up for him. They had become really good at having sex together. Making love. Fucking. Every possible kind, they knew how to do it with each other, and Even was bringing his A-game. His fingers moved in and out, they bent at his prostate and rubbed on it, they pushed together and pulled apart and stretched Isak out with zero pain at all, just pleasure growing more intense by the moment.

“Even -- please -- Please?”

Even smiled softly. He pulled his fingers out.

“Turn over, babe. The table won’t hold us both.”

“Fuck the table!”

Even chuckled at Isak’s desperation. He had created that himself, and he was pleased with his work. He stroked Isak’s belly gently.

“I like the table. And we have a nice dinner in the making, and nice dinners are eaten by a dining table. This very table. Turn over, please.”

Isak groaned. But he obeyed. He got up on his feet with Even’s help and then bent over down on the table. As he pressed his chest on it his ass was raised high up, and Isak had to admit Even had a point here. This felt good. To be put up on display like this, especially since Even sounded like he was liking what he was looking at. He liked it a lot.

Isak heard the wet sounds of the lube as Even rubbed it on his dick. He licked his lips and swayed his ass impatiently. Come on, babe, come on. Give it to me. Please, for the love of everything holy and unholy, just shove it in there already.

Even heard his thoughts. He grabbed Isak by the hips and held him still, firm and tight. He pushed his hard tip between Isak’s ass cheeks and against his hole. Isak moaned softly as he felt his body give in to the power of that dick. It slid inside him and split him most deliciously. Isak was moaning again, and he was being loud.

“I fucking love you”, Isak moaned when Even reached the bottom. He felt Even’s hands stroke on his back. Even was taking it easy, letting Isak to get accustomed to his dick inside him. It was so big. It was so much. Isak loved it how he was able to take it, take all that big muchness. He gave Even’s dick a little squeeze, and Even’s low grunting moan made his dick twitch a little. They were so good at this.

“Take me”, Isak whispered. “Take me now.”

Even did. The table creaked with every thrust, but it held together. Isak’s moans soon covered those creaks. His skin stuck on the table’s surface, moist with sweat and heat, Even’s thighs stuck to the back of his, making little smacking thuds with every thrust. Isak slipped his hand under his hips and grabbed his dick, stroking it in quick, hungry pulls. Oh, fuck. Oh, yes. He was going to come soon, he couldn’t fucking wait for it, he was going to come with Even’s dick inside him and that was the best way to come. Joined with Even like this, being this close to him.

Fuck, he was so close.

So close.

Isak felt his ass milk on Even’s dick when he came. It squeezed on it, hard, relentlessly demanding what was his, the force of Isak’s orgasm trying to pull one out of Even was well. Even pulled himself out by force and as the final tide of his own orgasm flushed over Isak he felt Even’s cum splash on his lower back. Isak loved it when Even came on him. It made him feel claimed. Marked. Even had marked his territory, and Isak was his.

Even bent over, panting. He licked Isak clean slowly, first his back and then he dove under him. Isak let Even lick his fingers clean. He leaned his cheek on the cool surface of the table and closed his eyes. Oh, fuck, he was feeling so good.

“Twenty minutes”, Even said softly. Isak groaned. It sounded like a question. At least Even understood to take it as such. “We still have twenty minutes.”

Isak pulled himself off the table. His skin stretched a bit as the table reluctantly released its grip on him.

“We could use a shower?”

Even grinned. He loved shower sex. And it would be a waste of a prepared ass to not take advantage of it, right?

“You’re so good to me.”

Isak rubbed his forehead on Even’s shoulder and gave his bicep a little kiss.

“You deserve it. Come on. We’re on a schedule here.”

Even turned over to the stove. He turned the pot and the oven both down a notch.

“Just in case. Would hate to ruin dinner.”

“Better take the timer with us, too.”

Even grabbed the gadget from the counter. He offered his other hand to Isak.

“Shall we, my dear?”

Isak took his hand.

“We shall.”


End file.
